Same-Sex Couples Entitled To Adopt: Can The “Clear Majority” Of Americans Have It Wrong?

It has been more than 20 years since Gallup first began asking whether homosexual (as called then) or same-sex (as called now) couples should be able to legally adopt children.  In 1992, a clear majority of Americans answered “no” (63% vs. 29%).  Come 2014, the numbers have virtually reversed, with a clear majority now answering “yes” (63% vs. 35%). 

While there is greater support among younger adults, 77% of whom support adoption by same-sex couples, even a majority of seniors now endorse the idea—suggesting that there has been a critical shift in the perception of a majority of Americans respecting the quality of same-sex couples as parents.   Surprisingly, the support for same-sex adoption is even higher than that for same-sex marriage (of which the survey says that 55% of Americans approve). 

Gary Gates, an expert from the Williams Institute at UCLA (a think-tank dedicated to conducting rigorous, independent research on sexual orientation and gender identity law and public policy), explains that this finding is not unusual, noting that “In general, adults in the U.S. continue to be more supportive of same-sex parenting than… same-sex sexual behavior.”  Apparently, more and more American adults are somehow separating the reality of what same-sex sexual behavior is, and what it means, and what it does to a person (those with children in the room might want to turn down the volume) from the impact that such a lifestyle will have on their parenting, and thus on the children.  But as previously discussed here and in other venues, the most rigorous and comprehensive research shows that when compared to children raised by a mother and a father, the children who are raised in same-sex unions are at higher risk for engaging in unhealthy behavior, and suffer far greater emotional, legal, educational, relationship, and financial problems in their lives.  Surely, it is fair to assume that those surveyed who support same-sex adoption are not actually intending to “cast a vote” for poorer child outcomes or to set up children who are already suffering detachment from their biological parents for failure.

So why the disconnect?  Are people simply not paying attention, or are their views being skewed by the copious (mis)information available in this digital age?

The Lifestyles of Homosexual Couples

There has been a decades-long effort in the media to portray homosexual couples as “not all that different” from traditionally-married couples.  The emphasis has been on portraying homosexual couples as banal, non-threatening, and typical of any mainstream American family. Those pushing the agenda are said to have made concerted efforts at limiting the media exposure of homosexual couples who are more provocative and edgy in how they live out their lifestyle.  Yet, research shows that there are several key differences in the nature and quality of homosexual relationships and I believe those differences should be carefully considered before deciding to entrust an already vulnerable child (having been removed from his biological parents for whatever reason) to the care of a homosexual couple.  Among these differences are greater instability, a lack of devotedness in the relationship, increased health risk issues, and higher levels of domestic violence.  These differences are real and material, but they are downplayed or absent from much of the reporting on the issue.

For example, in discussing the issue of stability and devotedness in a relationship, those pushing the gay agenda will quickly point out the high rate of divorce among heterosexual marriages, and the not infrequent occurrences of extra-marital affairs.  What is obscured, however, is the relative frequency and intensity of these occurrences in same-sex versus other-sex unions.  U.S. Census and National Center for Health Statistics data show that 50-60% of heterosexual marriages last 20 years or longer, compared with just 5% of those in committed homosexual relationships. Similarly, roughly 80% of men and women remain faithful throughout heterosexual marriage, whereas estimates are that, at best, 25% of homosexual relationships remain monogamous—that’s 25% of the 5% above.  With respect to violence, an analogous pattern emerges:  the level of intimate partner violence in relationships between homosexual men is nearly double that in heterosexual relationships, and the level of violence is even greater in lesbian relationships.  Along with the lack of stability and violence, the increased incidence of depression, substance abuse, and HIV-related illness causes even greater suffering among homosexual couples, and any children entrusted to them.  

Context Matters

Children need many things in order to thrive, grow, and eventually flourish as adults.  Key among them are stability in the relationship between their parents, and safety and reasonable tranquility in their homes.  The data suggests that those involved in same-sex relationships are less likely to be able to provide these than those in heterosexual marriages.  Obviously, those people questioned by Gallup in 1992 are not the same as those questioned in 2014, but I suspect that most of the representative 1/3 of the sample who “changed their position” over the past two decades are simply not aware of the increased risk that this cultural shift in what is perceived as a “normal” or “natural” sexual relationship will create for those children they think they are helping. 

Young people, already experiencing an onslaught of confusing ideas in the culture, media, and schools, have only one safe haven left to them: the family.  The family remains that vital cell of the community, and as such it is vital that we as a society sustain the family structure that is most likely, by far, to provide the next generation their best chance for success and happiness.  A mother and a father together are that structure.  Of course, these families are not perfect and not every mother and father successfully lives out his or her commitment to monogamy.  Heterosexual marriage does not guarantee a stable, flourishing family, but it is the only structure in which such a family is possible.  Every child needs such a family, and those children who have already suffered the misfortune of separation from their biological parents, need it even more so.